Where I Stood
by MissMorrigan
Summary: Lyra Lestrange doesn't know who she is without her husband, Theo Nott. So she's leaving him to find herself. Slightly AU. PWP. One-shot. Song-fic.


**I'm not usually overly fond of song-fics, but this has been floating around in my mind the last few days. So here it is. This is based on Missy Higgins song Where I Stood, so you should listen to that while you read, or at least read the lyrics. I had to delete the lyrics out of the story cause it's a violation of the rules of . Everywhere there is a line across the page is where there should be a section of song lyrics. Sorry this is so confusing now!**

**-Morrigan**

**I own nothing recognizable, all credit goes to JK Rowling and Missy Higgins.**

* * *

"Lyra please don't do this," Theo begged.

I sighed, closing my old school trunk and turning around to sit on it. I didn't meet his eyes.

"I have to. I can't live this life anymore."

"_Our_ life! You have responsibilities! You can't just walk away!" he shouted.

Theo never shouted. I closed my eyes against the tears.

"You don't know what it's been like for me all these years. I can't keep living in a world where I'm hated solely based on who my parents are."

"So you're just going to run away?"

* * *

"I have to."

Theo sighed and sat next to me on the trunk. "You're not your mother, Lyra."

I closed my eyes. "I know."

"Then what is this about? After all these years."

"I just…I just have to go. Something is telling me that I have to give you a shot at a better life."

He clenched his jaw. "My life is perfect with you in it."

I smiled sadly. "We both know that's not true. It will be easier for both of you with me gone."

* * *

"Theo, we've been together most of our lives. I don't know who I am without you anymore," I said, choking back the tears.

"That's bullshit, Lyra. Loads of people marry their school sweethearts," he said, rolling his eyes.

I touch my hand to his cheek. "But how many of those people have been through what we have?"

"No one could ever replace you."

I smiled. "Whoever dares to try, she'll love you more than I ever could."

"I can't bare the thought of you with anyone else," he breathed.

"I'm don't like the idea of you with another woman either, but I know that I should."

* * *

_"I have to go now," I said, standing up and motioning for him to do the same._

"Do you feel like our love is wrong?" he asked suddenly. I could see in his eyes that he had wanted to ask for a while.

"I don't think love is black and white," I say, levitating my trunk and following it into the hall. "I think there is a lot of grey. I don't want to go, Theo, but I should."

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to," he said. "How many times have I told you that?"

I stopped in before our front door. "I'm torn between doing what's best for all of us and what will hurt the least."

* * *

"Don't go," he begged.

"I have to," I said again, reaching for his hand. "You won't be sad for long."

"I'm never going to get over you," he mumbled and I smiled.

"Yes you will. And she will be wonderful."

* * *

"You're the mother of my child, no one could be more wonderful than you are," he insisted.

"I won't be far," I said. "I'll be in Cardiff for a while until I have a more permanent plan. You know how to reach me."

"So that's it then?" he demanded, angry again. "You're just going to abandon our daughter like your mum abandoned you?"

I pull my hand away from his. "This isn't like that. Bellatrix went to Azkaban. I'll still be around if and when Vega needs me."

He shook his head. "Do I mean nothing to you at all?"

"You mean more to me than I could ever express. You were there for me in the worst moments of my life; you showed me how to trust myself after the war. You taught me that I was more than my last name."

"You're being selfish. We need you._ I_ need you."

"No," I said, touching his face again. "I was always the one who needed you. Now I need to find myself. I have to do this."

* * *

I reached up on my tiptoes and kissed him softly on the lips one last time. Quickly, before I changed my mind, I turned and grab the door handle.

"I love you," I whisper as I walked through the door.


End file.
